A few years ago I learned an amazing expression from my amazing Polish friend called Patti.  

It's become a bit of a mantra for me.  I need to share it with you. 

It's one of the tools that helps me deliberately care less

Here's how I use it:  Whenever I feel the problems of the world weighing down on my shoulders, I go sit atop my guru mountain (where I'm wearing no more than a loin cloth and my spectacles, if it helps you visualise this) and I just sit there and repeat the expression over and over to myself.

  • It's not my circus, they're not my monkeys
  • It's not my circus, they're not my monkeys
  • It's not my circus, they're not my monkeys

Occassionally, I vary things a bit:

  • It's not my friggin' circus, they're not my f**kin' monkeys
  • I've got my own circus, I've got my own monkeys.
  • They're not my friggin' problem, and I can't fix 'em.

Now that I understand what the expression means and why it's important, usually, a simple repetition of the stock, standard expression, backed up with a shrug, is good enough:

  • It's not my circus, they're not my monkeys 
  • It's not my circus, they're not my monkeys
  • It's not my circus, they're not my monkeys

 And then, once the message has sunk in, I climb back down the mountain, put my clothes back on, and go back to work where (mostly) I focus on doing good for my own circus and my own monkeys, and not getting heat-up about other people's circuses and their monkeys.

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